Make it Better

One of the problems people identify frequently in various interviews is that they feel the country is moving in the wrong direction.  What they mean by this varies tremendously from moving towards a totally socialist society, a sharia law society, a dictatorship, fascism or an anything goes society.

The one thing in common is that they don't like where it is going.

This played well in the last election as we saw two quite diametrically opposite candidates, Trump and Bernie Sanders do better than expected against establishment figures.  In fact, the election of Barack Obama probably was a result of this underlying American and World angst.

The world and America is changing and has changed dramatically.  Human nature for the most part can't keep up.

Things that were totally taboo just a few years ago are now routine.

Our approach to sex seems to have gone totally haywire in that we see it everywhere in public ads that would have been the stuff of pornography once yet have adopted stricter rules about what is permissible without explicit permission.

I was recently at an amusement park and it was hot so I would take fairly frequent breaks sitting on benches.  The outfits worn by young girls and slightly older women cover less and less of areas that used to be, well, covered up.  Its hard when you're from my generation to figure out the appropriate behavior since I wasn't there to ogle, just to rest.  It made me think of the movie Gigi where Maurice Chevalier would sit and admire the Parisian beauties strolling.  Of course they were wearing many more clothes.  The song "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" sounds a lot like a pedophile by today's standards.

So are we going to hell in a hand basket or are we becoming a nation of repressive accusers?

I think the problem really is that the answer is yes to both depending on your point of view.

The country is becoming more and more diverse every year or at least more and more exposed to the rich diversity we always had.

We always had major differences between say a city kid from the Bronx to a country boy from Alabama or a surfer dude in California or a coal miner in Kentucky to a rancher in Wyoming, or a farmer in Kansas.  It was just that the diversity stayed pretty diverse, while the global communications network of today is making everyone aware of everything.

Are we more or less god-fearing?  Well both.  Are we more or less promiscuous?  Once again both.

There is not single America and even from the days of the Pilgrims in Boston to the Settlers in Virginia, the Dutch in New Amsterdam, the Swedes in Delaware, the Catholics in Maryland, the Quakers in Pennsylvania and of course the slaves brought here in captivity, we have been a diverse nation.  It helped make us great.  There is no single "American: way, we are a recipe of many ingredients that together make one great American nation.

Enjoy it, its constantly changing.  We need to make sure it gets better.

Where's the Slap On the Faces?

When I read some of the accusations coming out about inappropriate sexual or imagined sexual behavior, I find some very credible but a bunch that just don't ring true.

For example you pose with someone in public to take a picture and he grabs your ass.  No reaction?  Really?  Wouldn't you at the very least ask what are you doing?  There were a lot of other people around and no one noticed?

Now apparently there are a bunch of women who don't react like every other person in the world when something totally unexpected and unwanted happens to them.

There are certain elements to these type of stories that would make them easy enough to fake if there was some motivation to do so.  No one can deny it happened except the accused. Easy enough to get a few people to say you mentioned it to them at the time, but regardless, I never met the person who gets their ass or breast grabbed in public and didn't react somehow.

There are some elements that are common is some of the Hollywood incidents that also seem troubling, almost as if from a script.

First something inappropriate has to be alleged, something of which there is no record.  Then a bunch of unnamed but important people have to warn you not to report it at the time because it will ruin your career.

This bring me to the third element that bothers me.  Were some of these incidents, even if they happened, anything at all?

Someone kisses you in rehearsal in a way you consider "wrong".  Well it was supposed to be a rehearsal, was it really anything?

In some cases the stories include allegations that the perpetrator ogled the victim.  Maybe, maybe not but not actually anything either way.  One persons ogling is another's glance.

There are victims out there and I would like to think that we are not seeing an attempt to discredit certain allegations by creating a bunch of unverifiable ones that will make it seem, well almost normal.

I fear however that we have people either with malicious or other motivation coming forward with allegations that are simply nothing really.

I suspect that pretty much every women in the world has received some sort of unwanted attention or possibly touching during their lives.  Should we put every teenage boy on the registry who tries to cop a feel during a date?  I hope not.  He deserves a good slap on the face not a lifetime sentence.

The ones who don't stop when told are the real problems.  I guess we can just classify all men as sexual predators and move on.

What Is Inappropriate Behavior?

With all the allegations of sexual harassment in the news you start to wonder "What the F...?"

Having been in the workplace for many years, although apparently a pretty boring one, I'm aware that there is a certain amount of interaction between men and women, some of which is welcome and some not welcome at all.

People spend a lot of time at work and there is a lot of time for interactions.

I've always worked in places where there were strict rules but rules are meant to be broken and much like any other place where people are together I've seen romance's blossom, some hearts broken, both ways and some bitter aftermaths.

I have seen a few cases of clearly inappropriate behavior that were handled and discipline administered.

What I now wonder is how much else may have been going on and how much did some behavior which seemed normal at the time border on what I read as sexual harassment now.

One example concerns relatively young naive people, both men and women who at lunch or near the water cooler might be teased about certain things that might elicit a blush or an awkward response.

Of course this is something that I consider fairly normal but after reading some accounts, is it now considered harassment or bullying?

Also what constitutes inappropriate touching?  Apparently shoulder rubs are a no-no.  It just seems that they used to be considered a nice thing.  Obviously they were never ok if objected to but if offered and accepted it never seemed inappropriate.

I'm not defending anyone who went over the line or used their position to force certain inappropriate behavior, but the line seems to be shifting and I wonder where it is going to stop. 

I know that human nature isn't going to change.

Women and Men

Interactions between men and women have been going on since there have been men and women.  Its demonstrated by the fact that we are still here as a species.

I don't know though if at any time the two groups actually understood each other.

It's been something that has been written about since ancient times although because of the nature of those times most of the writings relate to how women are incomprehensible to men.

It doesn't seem like that should be the case, but it pretty much is.

To some extent no one knows what anyone else is actually thinking, but with other men I feel fairly confident that I have an idea.

This is largely because they react in fairly predictable ways, at least to me.

Women on the other hand tend to be simply unpredictable.

I don't know if women have the same issue, it seems like they understand men better than men understand women, but maybe they don't.

Somehow the two groups have managed to procreate, and rather profusely.

However this is the area that seems to be the most perplexing.

I remember a skit by Jerry Seinfeld in which he posits the question as to why men resort to honking or calling out to pretty strangers and he answers his own question with because that's the best we have come up with.  While a joke it comes close to the truth.

Some of the things coming out are clearly wrong, others not so much, at least to my view, which is a male one.

The problem is that many of these accusations include the fact that a person in power in some ways imposed their will on another person.  Some of these accusations are based on obvious measurable things but some are based on people's perceptions.

The "me too" movement has uncovered that a majority of American women have felt harassed or abused at least once in their lifetimes.  Maybe that honking and calling out has gone too far.

However, we don't have anything better.  It's perplexing.